HONEYDEW-23 - 1:00

VIDEO

EXOTIC DANCER DANCES HER WAY TOWARD CAMERA.

SHE CONTINUES UNTIL SHE'S IN EXTREME CLOSE UP.

SHE PURSES HER LIPS WHILE LOOKING DEEPLY INTO CAMERA LENS.

FOOTAGE OF TIGERS IN INDIA.

TIGER SPRINGS ON A LARGE ANIMAL

GIRL IN ROOM TOSSING OUT CLOTHES.

Not-Quite-Politically-Correct Advertising Agency

AUDIO

( ESTABLISH EXOTIC MUSIC AND FADE FOR..)

From the secret palaces of the Orient....from the modern masters of Hollywood Vividcolor ...comes the most alluring, most entrapping, most reality altering, lipstick ever. It's (CHINESE GONG) hypnotic honeydew.

Hypnotic honeydew. It's not just a lipstick...it's pharmacological entrapment. He'll never know what hit him. One kiss and he's helpless; one kiss and he's yours forever!

Although this secret formula has long been illegal in India, it's now available in the United States though a special agreement with the Bureau of Wildlife Domestication. Try it; you life will never be the same again.

So forget about tight jeans, forget about long hair, forget about push-up bras....Hypnotic Honeydew is here!

COUPLE WALKING OFF WITH ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER AS JILTED GIRL LOOKS ON.

KEY OF SMALL, UNREADABLE DISCLAIMER. TEXT.

COUPLE WALKS OFF INTO SUNSET.  

Remember, if you don't use it on that special guy, someone else will! Act now while there's still time! Hypnotic Honeydew is available in a unmarked brown box. Hypnotic Honeydew. One kiss and he's yours forever!

(READ VERY RAPIDLY) To purchase Hypnotic Honeydew you must be over 18 or have signed parental consent. Not available in Boston, in Orange County Florida, or Orange County California.